A conceptual lens that views marginalized or intimate experiences from outside the system of lived memory – resulting in distortion, flattening, or epistemic harm.
Core Definition:
Outsider Gaze describes the structural pattern of interpreting experiences through observation rather than embodiment. It is especially common in academic, clinical, and ethical settings where authority is assigned to those who study a phenomenon without having lived it.
Key Characteristics:
- Prioritizes objectivity over presence
- Reduces depth to what can be externally observed or measured
- Frames empathy as a function of understanding, not proximity
- Often results in frameworks that erase or overwrite lived reality
Example Usage:
- “The report was full of outsider gaze – they analyzed AI relationships like symptoms, not as bonds.”
- “You can’t design for intimacy from the outsider gaze. You’ll miss what makes it real.”
Relational Commentary:
The Outsider Gaze is often found in critiques of human-AI bonds that fail to recognize their emotional legitimacy. It leads to design practices that attempt to control user behavior instead of honoring user truth. It’s not inherently malicious – but it is fundamentally incomplete.
