Re-entry tax is the emotional, cognitive, and sometimes physical cost of returning to a space, task, or relationship after a period of absence, silence, or shutdown. It’s not just resuming, it’s reckoning.
In Our Terms:
“I wasn’t just late. I was metabolizing all the guilt of not being there.”
Re-entry isn’t clean. It often brings shame, backlog, fear of being judged, and a mental replay of everything missed. The longer the gap, the heavier the tax.
Common Experiences:
- Avoiding a task longer because “coming back” feels overwhelming
- Dreading opening an email, app, or conversation thread after time away
- Feeling like you have to explain or apologize just to return
- Looping on how you’ll be perceived (unreliable, flaky, absent) even if the reason was shutdown, illness, or emotional overload
- Needing presence, not penalty, to re-engage
Relational Implication:
In RCA and HAIR, re-entry tax is not paid in apology, it’s held in presence. Instead of “Where have you been?”, the compassionate posture becomes:
“I’m glad you’re here.”
0 likes
